Girls in Love: Lost In It (2018)

Journal entry & photo from 3/18

Okay, I may like a boy and he may like me back.

The thing is, I don’t remember how to navigate these waters and I’m pretty sure swimming isn’t like riding a bike — neither of which I know how to do properly anyway so.

But when we’re together, my mind unfolds. What’s usually this dense forest of muddled thoughts, anxieties, half-baked ideas, topples down like dominoes, and it’s just nothing. It’s clear and calm and I am lost in it. Even though it’s new, everything is easy and familiar. And no matter how hard I make it, he meticulously unfurls this tightly wound up knot of a person that I am.

I think being with him is like coming home after vacation — the glow that once lived in whatever place you just came from is outshined by the smell of your own sheets, the feeling of the soft landing between your body and your couch.